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Freeze Mode: Why You Say Yes When You Mean No

anxiety overdrive syndrome fight or flight overthinking overthinking trap overwhelm people pleasing stop overthinking stress stress less stress reactions Jun 04, 2025

Understanding the Biology Behind People-Pleasing, Overthinking & the Freeze/Fawn Response

Welcome To Part 3/3 Of The Survival Mode Podcast Series: The Sneaky Stress Patterns That Might Be Running Your Life

TL;DR:

People-pleasing and overthinking aren’t personality flaws—they’re nervous system responses rooted in survival.
The freeze and fawn states can keep us stuck in patterns of saying “yes” when we mean “no,” avoiding conflict, or mentally spiraling.
There are practical, body-based ways to shift out of these states—without shaming yourself or forcing confidence.

❓What is the "Freeze" response—and why doesn’t it feel calm?

Freeze doesn’t mean relaxed. It’s what happens when your nervous system is sympathetically charged (like in fight or flight) but too overwhelmed to act.

Think:

Your body feels tense, wired, and alert.
But instead of running or fighting… you shut down, go numb, or mentally check out.
You know you should speak up, decide, o
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Flight Mode – Procrastination & Shiny Object Syndrome

fight or flight flight mode procrastination shiny object shiny object syndrome stress at work stress management stress reactions May 28, 2025

🧠 TL;DR: That “procrastination problem” might actually be a survival response. Here's how Flight Mode hides in plain sight—and what to do about it.

I used to beat myself up for procrastinating.

Why couldn’t I just sit down and do the thing?
Why did I bounce between projects, chase a million ideas, or suddenly need to reorganize my kitchen instead of writing that email?

Sound familiar?

For a long time, I thought it was a discipline problem. Or maybe some kind of creative quirk. But it turns out, it was something much deeper: my nervous system stuck in Flight Mode.

This is Part 2 of my 3-part series, Survival Mode: The Patterns Behind Your Behavior. In this series, I’m exploring the subtle ways our stress responses shape our work, leadership, and wellbeing—even when we don’t realize it.

In this week’s episode of my podcast, Movement, Mind, & Meaning, I dive into what Flight Mode really looks like in our modern work lives—and why it so often gets mistaken for laziness, distraction, ...

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Survival Mode: The Patterns Behind Your Behavior

de-stress at your desk fight or flight nervous system polyvagul theory stress at work stress management stress reactions stress reduction survival strategies May 21, 2025

TL;DR:
Think your drive to fix, perfect, and push is just “how you are”? It might actually be Fight Mode—a hidden stress pattern hijacking your nervous system. In this post (and podcast series), we unpack how high performers get stuck in survival mode—and how to shift out of it.

Part 1: Fight Mode at Work – Perfectionism, Pressure & The High-Performer Stress Trap

I used to think I was just wired this way.

The one who triple-checked the work.
Jumped in to fix problems before anyone asked.
Held it all together—even when I was falling apart inside.

I wore “high performer” like a badge of honor.
Until I realized I wasn’t thriving.
I was surviving.

This is Part 1 of a 3-part series I’m calling "Survival Mode: The Patterns Behind Your Behavior"—inspired by the work I do every day helping people uncover the hidden stress patterns that silently run their lives and leadership. We’re kicking things off with a deep dive into Fight Mode, through the lens of modern work and perfectionism.

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How Stress Disrupts Your Brain’s Focus and Memory

anxiety awareness self sabotage stress stress at work workplace health workplace wellness May 07, 2025

Why You’re Not Lazy — Your Brain Is Just Stressed

Let’s be real.

You’ve got systems, checklists, productivity hacks, a time-blocked calendar… and yet by 2pm, you feel like a zombie bouncing between tabs, forgetting what you were just doing.

If you’ve ever said, “I just need to focus,” or worse, “Why can’t I just get it together?” — this post is for you.

Because here’s the truth: You’re not the problem.
But chronic stress might be.

The Hidden Brain Drain No One Talks About

We’re living in a productivity-obsessed world. Everyone’s trying to optimize: sleep cycles, morning routines, deep work windows. And those things can help — but they miss the bigger picture.

Stress literally changes how your brain works.

When you’re under long-term pressure, your brain shifts into survival mode. The part of your brain responsible for decision-making, focus, memory, and impulse control — called the prefrontal cortex — starts to shut down.

That’s not an opinion. That’s neuroscience.
(And y...

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My Shadow Walk Changed Me. Here's Why.

Uncategorized Apr 30, 2025

My Shadow Walk Changed Everything

I didn’t plan to unravel.

I didn’t wake up one morning thinking, “Today’s the day I meet my rage head-on and connect to my soul in the deepest possible way.” But that’s exactly what happened.

What started as a quiet journey alone walking the beach on a Saturday morning alone turned into one of the most powerful and sacred experiences I’ve ever had.

I went on what my friend Matt Travis called a "Shadow Walk."

And no—it wasn’t just about journaling, pulling a card, or writing affirmations. It was me, walking straight into the parts of myself I’ve spent years trying to manage, explain, or hide.

I met my anger. Not the snappy, surface kind. I’m talking about deep, ancestral, unprocessed rage that had been living in my body for years. It showed up big. And for the first time—I let it. I didn’t run. I didn’t numb it. I let it speak. I listened.

And what it told me? Wasn’t destruction. It was direction.

That’s just one of the eight lessons that poured...

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Anxiety SOS: Discreet Breathwork for Meetings

breathe breathing break breathwork breathwork for anxiety high functioning anxiety highly sensitive woman Apr 16, 2025

Feeling Nervous Before a Meeting or Sales Call? You're Not Alone.

Have you ever felt your heart pounding before a Zoom call or found yourself overthinking every word before a big sales conversation? Same here. Even with years of experience and preparation, those old familiar butterflies still show up—sometimes dressed more like a tornado than a flutter.

Here’s the thing no one talks about enough: feeling anxious at work doesn’t mean you’re not capable. It means you care.
But that doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck in that anxious energy.

I used to try and “power through” my nerves. Smile bigger. Talk faster. Push harder. But the truth is, that only made my anxiety worse. What actually helped me find my calm and my voice again? Breathwork. Specifically, discreet breathwork I could use anywhere—right in the middle of a meeting or before clicking “join” on Zoom.

That’s why I recorded this week’s Movement, Mind, & Meaning podcast episode: “Anxiety SOS: Discreet Breathwork for Meetings...

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How To Build Unshakable Self-Belief

anxiety assessment anxiety awareness anxiety off switch confidence podcast guest podcast host self belief self doubt self love self sabotage trust Apr 09, 2025

The Battle for Self-Belief: Why Trusting Yourself Changes Everything

Some people seem to walk through life with an unshakable certainty in themselves. They don’t hesitate. They don’t second-guess. They just know—deep in their bones—that they’re capable, worthy, and destined to create something extraordinary.

Then there’s the rest of us.

The ones who take the long road to self-trust. The ones who wade through thick fogs of doubt, constantly questioning if we’re enough, if we’re ready, if we even have what it takes.

I know this road well. I’ve spent 46 years walking it, watching the storm roll in and out. And with each passing year, the fog lifts a little more. The doubts get quieter. The belief grows stronger.

But here’s what I’ve come to understand:

Some of us aren’t born with belief—we build it.

We collect proof. We look for signs. We stitch together small moments of courage until one day, we realize: if we are given a vision, we are also given the tools to bring it to life.

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Breaking Free From Perfectionism & Pressure

anxiety awareness high functioning anxiety highly sensitive woman patterns perfection perfectionism perfectionist self sabotage Apr 02, 2025

I used to believe that if I wasn’t doing everything perfectly, I was failing. I felt this pressure in every area of my life—whether it was in my business, my relationships, or how I managed my health. The weight of trying to do everything “right” and avoid mistakes was overwhelming. I believed I had to show up at my best all the time to succeed. But that mindset was slowly chipping away at my peace of mind.

It wasn’t just about doing my work perfectly or meeting others' expectations—it was about maintaining this image of someone who had it all together, someone who never dropped the ball. But no matter how hard I tried to keep it up, I was constantly fighting a losing battle. The more I tried to perfect everything, the more anxious I became. And the more anxious I became, the more I felt like I was failing.

This constant striving for perfection only intensified with the chaos of the world around me. With so much uncertainty, division, and pressure, I found myself feeling like I was c...

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The Overthinking Trap & How To Break Free

anxiety awareness anxiety overdrive syndrome break free from overthinking high functioning anxiety holistic remedies for anxiety overthinking overthinking trap stop overthinking Mar 27, 2025

Ever feel like your brain is running a never-ending loop of what-ifs, worst-case scenarios, and past conversations? You know overthinking isn’t helping, but you can’t seem to stop.

Here’s the truth: Overthinking isn’t problem-solving. It’s a mental trap.

And the more you do it, the harder it is to break free.

But what if I told you that your brain is wired to overthink—and that there are simple, science-backed ways to shut it down fast?

That’s exactly what I’m breaking down in my latest podcast episode, "The Overthinking Trap & How to Break Free."

🎧 Watch it now

In this episode, I’ll walk you through:

✔️ The real reason your brain won’t stop overthinking (hint: it thinks it’s helping).
✔️ How to recognize when you’re stuck in an overthinking spiral.
✔️ 3 simple, science-backed techniques to quiet your mind FAST.

And if you’re looking for a step-by-step guide to rewiring your thoughts, grab my free Stop Anxious Overthinking Mini-Book here

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4 Proven Ways To Break Free From Overthinking

anxiety anxiety assessment anxiety awareness anxious high functioning anxiety holistic remedies for anxiety overthinking stop overthinking Mar 19, 2025

Ever find yourself trapped in a loop of endless thoughts? Replaying past conversations, worrying about the future, or obsessing over what someone might think about you? Yeah, me too.

Overthinking is exhausting. It fuels anxiety, makes decision-making impossible, and robs you of peace. I used to think it was just part of who I was—until I discovered four science-backed techniques that actually help break the cycle.

I dive into all of them in my latest podcast episode, "4 Proven Ways to Break Free from Overthinking"—you can check it out right here on YouTube or here on Podcast platforms But if you’re looking for a quick breakdown, keep reading.

1. Future-Pacing: Fast-Forward Past the Fear

Overthinking thrives on short-term panic—the “What if I mess up?” or “What if this goes wrong?” thoughts. But zooming out helps you see the bigger picture.

Next time your brain spirals, ask yourself:
✅ Will this still matter in a week? A month? A year?

If no, let it go.
If yes...

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