I’m in the middle of packing up a home I’ve lived in for 10 years.
Let me tell you—nothing triggers a highlight reel of your life quite like peeling back layers of your own history, one drawer at a time.
This week, I found a tuft of fur from our Bailey Boy—the goodest boy, our 16 year old Cockapoo doggo—tucked in the corner of the closet. I sat on the floor and cried like it just happened.
Then, a few boxes later, I pulled out the framed certificate from when I was recognized as an HMSA Blue Zone Wellness Advocate for my Maui community. That moment brought me back to being in the Mayor's conference room full of people, laughter, pride, and Aloha.
Packing isn’t just packing. It’s a recognition. Of who you were. Who you thought you’d be. And who you actually became.
Here’s the part we forget too often: You’ve lived many lives inside this one.
There was the “just starting out” version of you. The “I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m doing it anyway” you. The “I made it through som...
People-pleasing and overthinking aren’t personality flaws—they’re nervous system responses rooted in survival.
The freeze and fawn states can keep us stuck in patterns of saying “yes” when we mean “no,” avoiding conflict, or mentally spiraling.
There are practical, body-based ways to shift out of these states—without shaming yourself or forcing confidence.
Freeze doesn’t mean relaxed. It’s what happens when your nervous system is sympathetically charged (like in fight or flight) but too overwhelmed to act.
Think:
Your body feels tense, wired, and alert.
But instead of running or fighting… you shut down, go numb, or mentally check out.
You know you should speak up, decide, o
...
🧠TL;DR: That “procrastination problem” might actually be a survival response. Here's how Flight Mode hides in plain sight—and what to do about it.
I used to beat myself up for procrastinating.
Why couldn’t I just sit down and do the thing?
Why did I bounce between projects, chase a million ideas, or suddenly need to reorganize my kitchen instead of writing that email?
Sound familiar?
For a long time, I thought it was a discipline problem. Or maybe some kind of creative quirk. But it turns out, it was something much deeper: my nervous system stuck in Flight Mode.
This is Part 2 of my 3-part series, Survival Mode: The Patterns Behind Your Behavior. In this series, I’m exploring the subtle ways our stress responses shape our work, leadership, and wellbeing—even when we don’t realize it.
In this week’s episode of my podcast, Movement, Mind, & Meaning, I dive into what Flight Mode really looks like in our modern work lives—and why it so often gets mistaken for laziness, distraction, ...
TL;DR:
Think your drive to fix, perfect, and push is just “how you are”? It might actually be Fight Mode—a hidden stress pattern hijacking your nervous system. In this post (and podcast series), we unpack how high performers get stuck in survival mode—and how to shift out of it.
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Part 1: Fight Mode at Work – Perfectionism, Pressure & The High-Performer Stress Trap
I used to think I was just wired this way.
The one who triple-checked the work.
Jumped in to fix problems before anyone asked.
Held it all together—even when I was falling apart inside.
I wore “high performer” like a badge of honor.
Until I realized I wasn’t thriving.
I was surviving.
This is Part 1 of a 3-part series I’m calling "Survival Mode: The Patterns Behind Your Behavior"—inspired by the work I do every day helping people uncover the hidden stress patterns that silently run their lives and leadership. We’re kicking things off with a deep dive into Fight Mode, through the lens of modern work and perfectionism.
...
Let’s be real.
You’ve got systems, checklists, productivity hacks, a time-blocked calendar… and yet by 2pm, you feel like a zombie bouncing between tabs, forgetting what you were just doing.
If you’ve ever said, “I just need to focus,” or worse, “Why can’t I just get it together?” — this post is for you.
Because here’s the truth: You’re not the problem.
But chronic stress might be.
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We’re living in a productivity-obsessed world. Everyone’s trying to optimize: sleep cycles, morning routines, deep work windows. And those things can help — but they miss the bigger picture.
Stress literally changes how your brain works.
When you’re under long-term pressure, your brain shifts into survival mode. The part of your brain responsible for decision-making, focus, memory, and impulse control — called the prefrontal cortex — starts to shut down.
That’s not an opinion. That’s neuroscience.
(And y...
I didn’t plan to unravel.
I didn’t wake up one morning thinking, “Today’s the day I meet my rage head-on and connect to my soul in the deepest possible way.” But that’s exactly what happened.
What started as a quiet journey alone walking the beach on a Saturday morning alone turned into one of the most powerful and sacred experiences I’ve ever had.
I went on what my friend Matt Travis called a "Shadow Walk."
And no—it wasn’t just about journaling, pulling a card, or writing affirmations. It was me, walking straight into the parts of myself I’ve spent years trying to manage, explain, or hide.
I met my anger. Not the snappy, surface kind. I’m talking about deep, ancestral, unprocessed rage that had been living in my body for years. It showed up big. And for the first time—I let it. I didn’t run. I didn’t numb it. I let it speak. I listened.
And what it told me? Wasn’t destruction. It was direction.
That’s just one of the eight lessons that poured...
Feeling Nervous Before a Meeting or Sales Call? You're Not Alone.
Have you ever felt your heart pounding before a Zoom call or found yourself overthinking every word before a big sales conversation? Same here. Even with years of experience and preparation, those old familiar butterflies still show up—sometimes dressed more like a tornado than a flutter.
Here’s the thing no one talks about enough: feeling anxious at work doesn’t mean you’re not capable. It means you care.
But that doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck in that anxious energy.
I used to try and “power through” my nerves. Smile bigger. Talk faster. Push harder. But the truth is, that only made my anxiety worse. What actually helped me find my calm and my voice again? Breathwork. Specifically, discreet breathwork I could use anywhere—right in the middle of a meeting or before clicking “join” on Zoom.
That’s why I recorded this week’s Movement, Mind, & Meaning podcast episode: “Anxiety SOS: Discreet Breathwork for Meetings...
Some people seem to walk through life with an unshakable certainty in themselves. They don’t hesitate. They don’t second-guess. They just know—deep in their bones—that they’re capable, worthy, and destined to create something extraordinary.
Then there’s the rest of us.
The ones who take the long road to self-trust. The ones who wade through thick fogs of doubt, constantly questioning if we’re enough, if we’re ready, if we even have what it takes.
I know this road well. I’ve spent 46 years walking it, watching the storm roll in and out. And with each passing year, the fog lifts a little more. The doubts get quieter. The belief grows stronger.
But here’s what I’ve come to understand:
Some of us aren’t born with belief—we build it.
We collect proof. We look for signs. We stitch together small moments of courage until one day, we realize: if we are given a vision, we are also given the tools to bring it to life.
I used to believe that if I wasn’t doing everything perfectly, I was failing. I felt this pressure in every area of my life—whether it was in my business, my relationships, or how I managed my health. The weight of trying to do everything “right” and avoid mistakes was overwhelming. I believed I had to show up at my best all the time to succeed. But that mindset was slowly chipping away at my peace of mind.
It wasn’t just about doing my work perfectly or meeting others' expectations—it was about maintaining this image of someone who had it all together, someone who never dropped the ball. But no matter how hard I tried to keep it up, I was constantly fighting a losing battle. The more I tried to perfect everything, the more anxious I became. And the more anxious I became, the more I felt like I was failing.
This constant striving for perfection only intensified with the chaos of the world around me. With so much uncertainty, division, and pressure, I found myself feeling like I was c...
Ever feel like your brain is running a never-ending loop of what-ifs, worst-case scenarios, and past conversations? You know overthinking isn’t helping, but you can’t seem to stop.
Here’s the truth: Overthinking isn’t problem-solving. It’s a mental trap.
And the more you do it, the harder it is to break free.
But what if I told you that your brain is wired to overthink—and that there are simple, science-backed ways to shut it down fast?
That’s exactly what I’m breaking down in my latest podcast episode, "The Overthinking Trap & How to Break Free."
🎧 Watch it now
In this episode, I’ll walk you through:
✔️ The real reason your brain won’t stop overthinking (hint: it thinks it’s helping).
✔️ How to recognize when you’re stuck in an overthinking spiral.
✔️ 3 simple, science-backed techniques to quiet your mind FAST.
And if you’re looking for a step-by-step guide to rewiring your thoughts, grab my free Stop Anxious Overthinking Mini-Book here
Press PAUSE on your busy life with this free 10 minute "Yoga at My Desk" video to instantly feel better!
