Why You Can't Relax (& How To Change That)
Struggling with chronic stress, anxiety, or past trauma? Your nervous system holds the key to emotional regulation and resilience.
In this episode, together with special guest Alba Porras we explore how Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE), Somatic Yoga, and other holistic nervous system regulation techniques can help you stretch your ability to handle challenges, improve your mental health, and break free from chronic dysregulation.
What Youโll Learn:
โ How TRE works to release deep muscular tension and stored trauma
โ Why high-achieving women often experience fight-or-flight overload
โ How to naturally shift into a parasympathetic (rest & digest) state
โ The science behind nervous system dysregulation & healing
โ The best holistic stress relief tools for long-term resilience Whether youโre dealing with burnout, PTSD, anxiety, or depression, this episode will teach you practical body-based techniques to reclaim your inner calm and emotional balance.
๐ Watch now & start your healing journey!
Learn more about Alba here: Alba Porras is a Licensed Associate Counselor and National Certified Counselor who combines traditional counseling approaches with somatic practices and nervous system expertise. With a unique background blending mental health, movement, and body-based therapies, she helps clients navigate anxiety, stress, and trauma through an integrative mind-body approach. As the founder of Inspira Counseling Services and creator of Wellzense, Alba draws from her extensive training in Somatic Experiencing, Gottman Method, and trauma-informed practices to guide clients toward sustainable healing. Her bilingual expertise (English/Spanish) and diverse background in kinesiology, counseling, and somatic coaching allows her to offer a comprehensive approach to mental health and emotional well-being. Alba is a certified TRE provider, and 500 Registered Yoga Teacher
Connect With Alba: www.albaporras.com www.wellzensehub.com/Respira
IG/FB/Tiktok/Pinterest/Youtube @Wellzense
IG: @Alba Porras
About Your Host, Megan Nolan: Helps People First, Purpose Driven Companies That Want To Build Emotionally Resilient Teams That Perform At Their Best Without Time Consuming Strategies By Using Practical Science-Based Strategies That Work In Just Minutes A Day
With 20+ years as a yoga instructor & personal trainer, she teaches mind-body tools to break free from stress and thrive with impact, freedom, and joy.
๐ Bestselling Author | ๐ Podcast Host | ๐ Stress & Resilience Coach
Check Out Her Website: https://www.megan-nolan.com/
Follow Her On LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/iammegannolan/
Please find the transcript below! Mind the grammar and funny spelling!
Today we're talking about why you can't relax and how to fix that. Aloha and welcome back to another episode of Movement, Mind and Meaning Mind, Body Tools to thrive beyond depression and anxiety. And today I have a very, very special guest with us. Her name is Alba Porres and she is a somatic. Coach and yoga teacher. And she has, let me tell you, so many tools that she uses. You can see them behind her if you're watching the video on YouTube. If you're listening to the audio, just know she's like, got all the magic and so much more. So welcome to the show. It's so lovely to have you. Thank you so much, Megan, for having for having me in your show. I love it. Thank you. Yes, you're welcome. So you have a very impressive collection of certifications and experiences and multilingual offerings around the world. Like, amazing. And so if you want to dive into all of that, make sure to take a look at Alba's bio, which is in the show notes. But you know how we like to do things over here on this podcast is we like to just get right into it, right?We want to know you. We want to learn a little bit more about you. And we always start on our guest episodes by having you. Take us to a moment in your life when maybe it was one of those upside down, all around sort of moments, maybe when things shifted for you or you had some realizations so that you have started that journey to where you are today. We would love to know a little bit of a little snippet about your story. Well, I think, yeah, I I've always been in love with getting to know my body. I was a ballerina for many years and then got into sports and. More my first bachelor's degree in sports training, but I think the shift happened when I began having a series of injuries and conditions that took me into discovering really what's the language of my body. And how I can befriend my body. So I went through four knee surgeries. I had a car accident that displaced one of the vertebrae from my spine and also like an injured neck and and then eventually I develop an autoimmune condition. I have chronic Lyme. Disease and I experienced the chronic health symptoms of Lyme for more than 10 years. So it was a struggle to try to find the right treatment. And it was not until I had a transitory ischemic attack, which is like a version of a stroke, that I began working with my nervous system and working with my nervous system was what changed my life. Not only allowed me to get to know the language of my body, but also address the needs of my body on a regular basis and try to address. I address that disconnection between my mind and the body that I had after so many years of medical treatments and and you know, the medications usually bring a lot of other multiple side effects. So it was through the work of my nervous system that I actually was able to find well-being. Wow. Well, so grateful and glad that you're here with us. And clearly you've taken those experiences and used them as opportunities and you know, perhaps eventually was able to see the gift in all of those. And so that's a big part of this community is learning to take that perspective. And so, so proud of you and grateful that you. Began to dive into that. And I love that you speak to the language of the body, right?It's such a beautiful, eloquent language. We were talking before we got on about languages and how, you know, it's so interesting to learn how to say things properly. Like I was practicing your beautiful name. And so it is. It's a language. It's a very subtle system. But it can also get really loud sometimes, right?It's like, hello, you're not paying attention to me, you know, kind of like a little frustrated child having a temper tantrum. And so let's jump into that. Let's jump into that about how life and whether that is. The experience of the cumulative events of life and so many people in this community are very highly sensitive, ambitious leaders, women, visionary, you know, sometimes have entrepreneurial tendencies, IE they have a business or in a professional setting, but. We all experience stress, right?Like that's just part of the nature of humanity and life and especially now with everything, with just with everything, right?Life is a little upside down right now. And so can we talk about that?How just even that that cumulative chronic stress or and or I should say the impact of traumatic stress, right?Little T, Big T, what does this do to us? What does this do to us on a quality of life level from your perspective? Oh, I love that question. I think I'll be going by summarizing that experiences shape our biology and eventually that becomes our pathology. So and it goes the other way around as well. Our biology or the way we're experiencing our body will shape our experiences or the way we experience our our our world. And I think it's been. Something important that we've been addressing lately in the social media world and everybody everywhere else, that it's not only traumatic experiences that impact the way we see the world and the way we feel within ourselves, but also that chronic. Tension or stress that we work to experience on a regular basis. So for your audience, like having a business is so is stressful. There's so much uncertainty. There are so many things to deal with. I personally experienced burnout after managing a yoga studio in Mexico and. It's you love what you do, but at the same time, you have so many things to deal with. All of that accumulated over the years can begin have an impact not only in the way you perceive yourself, but the way your body is speaking to you. Chronic headaches, chronic digestive problems, chronic tension around your body, that neck pain that doesn't go away, that lower back pain that doesn't go away, and so on and so forth. So yeah, like the body keeps its court. And if we don't learn. recognize what our body is communicating, just as you say a beautiful. It's just a language that we need to learn to listen to and speak so we can fully address what we need on a regular basis so that the past is not dictating the experiences of the present. Umm Beautiful. That was so potent. Thank you. Well, and also thank you for speaking that truth, right?You know, often we see this sort of shiny veneer of entrepreneurship. And, you know, I always joke that, like, clearly I didn't read the brochure because I didn't have any idea how stressful it was going to be, you knowAnd it's funny because I was just thinking about this the other day and and you know, this is sort of off topic, but maybe not. Is that for many people that are entrepreneurial, you know, in ambition and mindset, we tend to be really driven and focused and just naturally good at things that we choose to do. And I was thinking the other day about how, you know, there's so many tool sets within the entrepreneur. Job title, if you will. And it's interesting because you're not naturally going to be great at all of them, right? And so it's where we can learn and grow. But it's funny because I find this for myself and a lot of my students and in our community is that we can get really tripped up and it can be very frustrating and potentially little T or even big T traumatic when we go out and we do these things and we think it's going to be one way and then it totally flops and it's not right. And and I used to talk about launch trauma, right. And I've heard James, James Wedmore, one of our coaches. We have in common. He talked about this, right. And it's one of those things that, you know, it's like we left because you know what it is too. And like people that are that not necessarily entrepreneurs that don't know what I mean by a launch. That's when you do some sort of free event and you invite people into your world and you share some value, you give some some suggestions and Nuggets and then. make an invitation for the next step, right?And sometimes it goes really well. Sometimes it falls flat. Sometimes you have no idea what you're doing, you knowAnd so it can feel really intense when we have these big dreams and goals and this mind that's like, go, go, go, do it, do it. And then it doesn't work out the way we want it to. And so it can be very intensely, you know, it can leave a mark on us. And it definitely like, I remember because I had placed so much weight on on my launches andYou know, both from a financial perspective and emotional because it's your work. You're putting it out there in the world, you know, and you're like, but what do you mean you don't want to do this?I don't understand. It's so good, you know, and but then you look at the page from the perspective now and you're thinking. Oh, OK. I see why. So I maybe we can kind of like go on that a little bit because what you said there that will maybe take us forward in the conversation literally is that how much of these past experiences we carry with us, right. And we we allow and or they are imprinted in our cells on our nervous system and so. Let's talk about that. So if we notice that there is a an impact on the quality of life, right? And and we find ourselves in these patterns repeating, you know, experiencing launch trauma over and over, whatever it is, right? What are some of the tools that you really find effective?And I know that you have a lot of tools, but one in particular I'd really love for us to explore and for you to explain and maybe give us a little taste of is one that is called TRE. So can you tell us what that is, please?Of course. That's a great question. So TRE stands for trauma intention releasing exercises. It was developed by Dr. David Berschelli, and it's basically based on the polyvagal theory. And what it is, is a series of seven exercises. They're very gentle, very easy to do, that trigger the fight or flight muscles. So those muscles that will help help you move, mobilize, run away from the tread. And you trigger the activation of this muscles in order to begin a natural response of energy release. And this is a tremor. So this tremor, what it does is it is is a nervous system discharge of all those energies that have been stuck in the body, whether is emotions, energy, emotions and energy that's stuck in the body, or whether our experienced traumatic or chronic tensions have been healthy in the body in specific well places in the body, they begin releasing through these exercises. And the more that we engage in this process, the more the nervous system relearns or reshapes the way it processes stress or it responds to a stress. So generally when we are living on a chronic state of stress or in a survival mode, Our the hierarchy of how our nervous system responds to stress can go into like, you know, the fight or flight, typical fight or flight or into dorsal vagal state and we should just shut down and collapse. And when we get to be in that shutdown state, for example, and we begin working with TRE, then we move up to that mobilized state in the fight or flight in which we start learning how to set boundaries, in which we start actually having energy to go through the day to eventually take us into that ventral state in which we feel safe again with our bodies. Because one of the things that happen when we experience chronic state is that we disconnect so much from our bodies. that we begin feeling that our bodies are our worst enemies, or we just simply don't recognize what we need or what we're feeling. And we are completely numb and dissociative from what is going on, not only inside us, but outside us. And when we live in this state, even if we are in entrepreneurs, we are just managing a business from a survival mode, which leads to always targeting or maybe giving meaning to what we do as an attack to us. So this, if this isn't go, this didn't go with with like the way I wanted, means I'm a failure. If this isn't, I didn't have the audience that I wanted, I'm not good enough. You know, we begin giving ourselves a label because we personalize it to our inner world because just inside us, we don't feel safe to be inside. Because there is more, there is more. I always like to say like there is more information going from the body to the to the brain than from the brain to the body. From the brain to the body is only 20% of the information. So if there is that disconnection, the only thing that the mind does is that begins creating stories about what is happening in the body because it doesn't know what is happening in the body. So that's when the beliefs of I'm not good enough, there is something wrong with me, I'm a failure and that type of things come around. So working with TRE is just learning to beframe our bodies through the work of the nervous system as we discharge the nervous system excess energy or chronic dysregulation. Umm So potent, and I can see whyThat would be a really effective tool for this community, right? Especially if we are navigating these challenges. And so one thing that you said there that for people that aren't aware of, can you explain what you mean by going into the ventral vagal state from your. Thank you. Great question. So the ventral vagal state is just a state of the nervous system in which we feel safe to connect, to be in the world, to be with ourselves, in which instead of thinking that everybody's against us or nothing works for us, or the world is an unsafe place, we actually feel that the world is a place where we can find possibilities for ourselves. The way we think is more as of possibilities than as of danger, which is the other states. the way we feel, it's also more aligned or more in flow. So we don't feel like tense all the time or guarding or holding our bodies in a way that is just hurtful and painful. And it just the same thing goes to our behaviors is we are creative, we are, we don't procrastinate, we're able to reach out for help, we are able to service others in from a place ofNot survival, because I need them, but rather because I want to serve them because I want to be for them. I want to support them. So it's it's a really beautiful state to be because we we feel feeling safe and grounded. Umm I love that. So if someone starts to learn this tool set and start to practice it, what are some of the long-term shifts that they can expect to experience beyond that connected, open-hearted, optimistic perspective shift that you just so beautifully explained?What else do people start to see?What do you see in your clients or in yourself and your community with this practice?Yeah. Well, I think I'm going to start by saying that when we are in a chronic survival mode, we tend to find within ourselves and outside ourselves a lot of danger. There's something, there's this concept set that's that is called dangers in me in which everything that we experience inside is turning into a painful or suffering experience, even if it can be like something that is not painful, like doing public. speaking. We can or just engaging in our in our work or reaching out to you to ask you for like a an interview or a coffee. You know, we turn it into if I do this, there's something is going to go wrong, including like let me rest for a moment. That becomes a danger in me. So when we begin practicing TRE, we begin having a different relationship with those threats and dangers that we find within ourselves and outside ourselves. So we can have a better relationship with them and we can eventually turn them into a safety experience. So we no longer know not only experience more safety and grounding and well-being within ourselves, but we also learn to see more possibilities in the world we begin feeling. I I love that a lot of clients begin suddenly feeling again like they're beautiful, like they haven't feel beautiful in so many years. And suddenly they can see themselves in the mirror. They just feel good within ours, within themselves. For those that experience a lot of pain, they change the relationship with pain and instead of the brain always trying to name the experiences that are happening inside as painful. The the pain response like decrease so they don't experience that much that that much pain. Chronic health symptoms usually either reduce or some of them disappear depending on what's the really the root of those chronic health symptoms. If we tend to have what is called artificial regulators which is like. Reaching out for our phones, like doing something that will give us that temporary high so we can have a little bit of well-being and then we'll crash. After that, we begin to have a different relationship with those. We begin recognizing, oh, this actually makes me not feel good after I do that. So it brings a lot of awareness and then therefore it allows us to find different ways that we can regulate and feel grounded within ourselves. There's also great tool for increasing our resilience or our window of tolerance to the stress. So if we are used to. Overreacting or finding like super experiences too stressful and two or two inches because we increase that window of tolerance, we begin having a different relationship with those experiences and maybe something that caused anxiety before no longer causes anxiety because our nervous system is back to that window of tolerance or window of safety. So it's a lot of increased resilience, decrease in chronic health symptoms, increased safety in our bodies with which. Means also a better relationship with ourselves and more awareness interception. So we are able to recognize what is happening inside us so we can determine what is it that I need at this moment. Do I need to set boundaries for myself, for others?Do I need to do to take a pause, rest and just give ourselves what we need at any given moment, which generally when we are disconnected from our bodies, we're not able to recognize what we need. So true. So true. I love that. And that's one of the tools that we use in the power pause movement is taking these power pauses. So I love that you speak to that as well. And And something that I really loved that you shared, because in this community, we're looking for tools that are really effective, that are taking us to a place of self-awareness. and self-acceptance and self-love, right?And so what you're speaking to is the tool set of all tool sets to be able to do that, right?And it's, yes, of course, self-care can look like bubble baths and pedicures. But when we are talking about getting to the root of the issue and making a shift that's truly impactful and not just surface level, not just an artificial regulator, as you said, this is something that will allow you to Come back to that place of self-awareness so that you can really give yourself what you need. And yes, that might be a nap and a bubble bath at 1000%, right?But more than likely it's something that will allow you to. Come back home to yourself, quote UN quote, come back into that place that we you've been inhabiting the whole time, but mostly from the neck up, right. And so coming back into our body and creating safety and familiarity and comfortability with that, that's such a beautiful, powerful tool set. So thank you for sharing that. And and I know that when we get to the point where you are going to tell us your website and all the ways we can connect to you, I'm sure that you have some other ways for people to understand and learn more about that or work with you. to learn TRE, yeah? Yes, Yes for sure. Okay, perfecto. Okay, so in every episode, we love to take a little power pauseAnd today we're going to have you share a tool that you need, you being you, the beautiful watcher, listener, a tool that you need for a mind body reset in just two minutes. So Alba, will you please take it away?This is actually part of a full episode about why you can't relax and how to fix that. So make sure to check this out. But Alba is now going to take us through a power pause to give us a tool to make this shift. So thank you so much. Go ahead, please. Of course. So thank you. We're going to do something called the self-hold exercise. This is a containment exercise developed by Dr. Peter Levine, and it's just basically a tool to help us come back into our bodies. So if you're sitting or if you're standing, just get comfortable. Just make sure you're not driving. And we're going to begin by just allowing the shoulders to rest and relax so they're not close to the ears, so bring them consciously down. And now bring one hand on top of your chest and the other one on top of your belly. close your eyes if that feels comfortable for you, and let's take 2 deep breaths together. So take a breath in through your nose and feel the expansion of your chest and belly, and then exhale. Let's do it one more time, but this least time exhale through the mouth. Take a breath in through your nose. Expand chest and belly and exhale through your mouth. Now bring that lower hand that is on your belly, bring it up into your forehead. Find the connection between your mind and your heart. Allow these two points to connect and bring yourself back into noticing your breath and these two points of your body. And let's take two deep breaths together. Take a breath in through your nose and feel the connection between the mind and your heart. And exhale. One more time, take a breath in through your nose. And exhale through your mouth. Now bring the hand on top of your forehead, bring it behind your head, at the base of your skull and look back just for a moment, looking up towards the ceiling, bringing the head back and now find a connection between the back side of your head and your heart. Notice these two points connecting to one another. Now once again, bring your awareness to your breath and let's take two collected breaths together. Take a breath into your nose and exhale. One more, take a breath in through your nose and exhale through the mouth. And lastly, bring that hand that is behind your head, bring it to your cheek and just rest your head to the side and just hold yourself and maybe a smile and just feel yourself being supported and hold, noticing the temperature,Noticing your heart beating. Noticing your head resting on your hand. And let's take two last breaths together. Take a breath in through your nose. And exhale. One more, take a breath in through your nose. And exhale through the mouth. Ah And slowly bring your head back into the center. Shake it off. How did that feel?Lovely. I wanted to stay there forever. Nice. I love the holding part, yeah. That was really lovely. I haven't done that part before. It felt very nurturing. Yeah, it felt like, I don't know. I have this beautiful image. You know, I forget this. Oh, I'm sure there's a million and one photographers that take really beautiful photos of babies and they're like, just doing cute stuff. I just had this like flash of myself as a little baby. So thank you so much. That was amazing. So again, this is part of a full episode of the Movement, Mind and Meaning podcast where we are talking about. You can't relax and how to fix that, right?And this is clearly one of the ways you can because that was incredible. So for people that are just jumping in for this part of it and for those that are watching the full or listening also to the full episode, will you tell us where we can learn more from you?Where can we connect with you?And of course it'll be in the show notes, but would love to hear from you. Of course. Thank you everyone for being here and thank you Megan for the invitation. I'm happy to answer any questions you may have. You can find me at my website albaporas.com or in social media at albaporas. That's my handle for English and for Spanish Wellsense. Love it. OK, and so we will have all of that in the show notes of this episode. And so as we are preparing to finish up, is there anything that you feel would be really supportive from your perspective, from your tool set, that would help someone if they are experiencing a season of sadness or if they do navigate anxiety?Is there something that you would love for them to hear or to remember? I think for me and for a lot of my clients, understanding that behaviors make sense and thoughts make sense when we look them through the lens of the nervous system is crucial. When we understand that is what is happening to us is not because there's something wrong with us or because we're not good enough or whatever. It's because it's our body, our nervous system justjelling for attention because we need to reconnect with ourselves and bring ourselves back into safety and groundness. And there's a natural way, your body knows how to go back to regulation, how to go into healing. We just need to begin by understanding what is happening. And when we understand what is is it that our bodies and nervous system is telling us, we are going to be able to betterAddress and manage the symptoms of anxiety, depression, chronic imposter syndrome, perfectionism, procrastination, having those thoughts of I'm not good enough, I'm a failure. The world is against me. All of this is just they're just signs of chronic dysregulation of the nervous system. So there's nothing wrong with withAnybody. It's just the nervous system responding to us that we need some care and you're sharing. So just begin with a pause and give yourself a hug that you that you need it. We need it. We need we need that hug and you're sharing on a daily basis. That's beautiful advice. Thank you. And that is something. And I believe it was that for bare minimum survival, because as humans we are, we're tribal beings, right?We're used to being around people, we're used to being in physical contact and obviously. You know, over the pandemic and how things are so virtual, it's like that's shifted a lot. And so I believe and correct me if you know differently, but at bare minimum, we're meant to have like 4 hugs or 4 physical contacts every day. That's bare minimum. And then, you know, for for vital health is about 8 and to be actually thriving and expanding and in that really beautiful regulated state, it's somewhere close to 12. And so that's pretty amazing, right?Like most people, if they they live on their own, you know, that can be challenging to reach your quota every day. And so I love that, that that the self hold and the tool for the mind body reset, that's such a beautiful way to do that. I love it, Megan. And I think it it touches on the beautiful concept of core regulation. Our nervous system cannot coexist in this world without the nervous system of other human beings. And we need to find those human beings that feel safe for us so we can just connect to them because we are meant to be on in communities, to be on a tribe. So I love that. I love the hugging part. Yeah. Does it have to be human or can it be a dog?Oh yeah, dogs. Like they count, right?They have magical flowers. Those are dogs are amazing for co-regulation as well. I don't know about their nervous system, but. They're great. Yeah, right?Like, you know, it's funny because they, they're such beautiful creatures and they give us so much love. They give us so much joy, but they get expensive, right?And it's like, you make these jokes of like, well, you're really earning your keep, like keeping me happy and all that. So I love that they, you know, there's scientific benefits for having a dog every once. And so, yeah, well, thank you. And again, that's such a beautiful reminder because. Our mind will want to have us believe otherwise, right?Like there's got to be something wrong with you. You shouldn't be there. You know, we all know the stories. We don't even need to go into that, but. I love that you are giving this perspective, that you're here today sharing these tools with us and sharing this work in the world through your communities in English and Spanish. Way to go you. And so thank you again. It's been so lovely to have you on. And also Alba did mention her socials and so please make sure to follow her on social media as well as to follow me as well if you're not already and take a screenshot and share it to your stories and tell us. What landed?Oops. Hey, thumbs up. What landed for you and what you are going to begin to implement, right?Because knowledge without implementation is relatively useless. And so it's, you know, I believe it was the Dalai Lama who said to know and not do is to not know. And so how can we begin to?Take that next little step, right?And for many of us, we're like, all right, give me the 842 step formula. What do I do to fix myself?So let's start by giving yourself some love. Do the self hold practice. Come. Yes. Shoot. Cradle your face. Wash your hands and then cradle your face. We're all about that good hand hygiene and then touch your base. But well, thank you. It's been really lovely and super fun chatting with you. Thank you so much, Megan. And thank you everyone for being here. Thank you. You're so welcome. Thank you everybody. Thank you again for being part of this incredible community. And do remember that it's all a journey, right?It's all a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance and Love, love, love, love, love, love. We know that we hear that, you've said it before, you've heard it before, but it's really where we can come back to again and again and again, that is that just like a doggy, healing balm for your heart. So we love that. And thank you so much everybody, and make sure to tag us and let us know Atlanta for you and stay tuned for our next episode coming back next Wednesday. Thank you everyone. Bye-bye. And.
